All long-term relationships go through different stages. There is a period of early dating and courtship and disillusionment. If the relationship continues, it settles into a more stable time of history building as a couple. If children enter the picture, it is a new phase. Later, there is another stage of being together as a mature couple with knowledge of experience.
We all know that it is possible to keep passion, romance, excitement and sexual intensity alive for years, but we also know that many relationships settle into a kind of friendly (or not friendly) roommate situation. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but there are tools that can keep the passion right. Here are 10 of them:
1. Be kind. I’m writing this on a cruise ship and it’s fascinating for people to see their spouse, then share a friendly smile with a stranger. We are ready to take family and best friends. A smile, an eyelid, a moment of kindness just go a long way.
2. Be vigilant. It is important to pay attention to the details of life. Pick up your own trash, and pick up for each other. Keep things far away, helping each other with small projects around the house. These things are the currency of love.
3. Be kind. Small surprises can generate huge rewards in a relationship. I understand this as the “Martha Stewart Effect”. Wearing a clean shirt before dinner, or using good china, or cutting a flower from the garden and placing it on the table, are examples. All these things add color, spice and decency to our lives.
4. Be patient. We all have bad days. it happens. When this happens to your spouse, be smart! Take the kids to the park for an hour, order a Chinese take-out for dinner. Give him / her a break! This is the reality of life. Allow for this
5. Be honest. Tell the truth about your feelings, and do it quickly and in a respectful, effective manner. Share your disappointments and fears, but also dreams, hopes and gratitude. Keeping secrets kills passion.
6. Be funny! Life seems to be supplying its stress and anxiety, but we have to provide ourselves with humor. Share a joke, take time to tickle each other or rent a fun movie, and do so often. Couples who laugh together often do other fun things together!
7. Be flexible. Throughout life, people change. Hopefully, as you change, your relationships will change and grow and mature. One of you will change careers, the other will change religions. One will be sick, the other will be at fault. Relationships either tilt with the winds of life, and they break up.
8. Be Generous. I have saved the best for last. After surveying dozens of couples, the big 3 items that appeared more and began with “Giving a Little Gift”. Surprise each other with flowers, candy, a card, or other gift. usually do. Do it without any special reason. Do this because you love each other and thought it would be nice to show it with a gift.
9. be available. The second of the “big 3” was “taking time for each other”. Schedule a walk and talk, go for a drive in the country, go to dinner and watch a movie together. Dozens of couples ranked time together as the most important component in keeping romance and passion alive.
10. Be physical. It is more about sexuality than sexuality. The couples talked about the importance of scents, candles and flowers and walks on the beach. They talked about making love, but mostly they talked about rubbing back and holding hands, and making memories. He talked about getting dressed and going out, and he talked about skinny-needles. He talked about being fickle and finding his way. You can do this!